Nineteenth Stop - Bratislava, Slovakia

Thanks to our good friends at Groupon, we were able to tag on a trip to the capital of Slovakia. For those who have seen the movie "Eurotrip", you will know what we were expecting. For those who haven't, well, it looks something like this.


However, the city turned out to be nothing like it - well, we only saw the downtown. But what we saw was a neat city, friendly people who couldn't quite figure out where my foreign accent was from, and cheap, yes, cheap, Christmas markets.



And finally, if anyone knows how this guy did it, please leave a comment.

Thanks.

Eighteenth Stop - Vienna, Austria

"Haben Sie Wien schon bei Nacht geseh'n...?" - Inspired by the musical makings of Mr. Fendrich and Jenn's desire to see some K&K, we decided to go on a short trip to Vienna.


Despite having only two full days, we managed to get a clear picture of the wonderful life of Empress Elisabeth aka Sisi and some other royals, some of it from high above.


Other than that, the trip was dominated by visits to various Kaffeehäuser and by Schnitzel, Schnitzel, and more Schnitzel. Finding the best and largest Schnitzel in Vienna (unofficial home of the Schnitzel) turned out to be a daunting task which could not be completed in such a short time. We tried anyways and Jenn gave it her very best.

For those who plan a trip, two recommendations. Lodging at Pension Aviano is incredibly central and room 308 is almost like a trip back in time ... almost.


For those with a giant appetite for some true Viennaise food, try "Zu den 2 Lieserln" in the Burggasse. You won't be disappointed.

Seventeenth Stop - Tofo, Mozambique

Who the hell goes on vacation to Mozambique?!

Well, we did.

And, it was surprisingly exciting.

Basically, there is one road in Mozambique, the EN1, that goes from the capital Maputo in the South all the way to the North. The road is probably 3000 kilometers long and pretty much the only tarred road in the entire country. We took it for about 500 kilometers. It was in surprisingly great condition and had a police post every 25 kilometers to check for speeders.


We spent the first couple of nights at Bamboozi Lodge, which we can only recommend to our worst enemies.

According to CIA world factbook, the GDP per person in Mozambique is about US$1000 per year. So, you would think that a US$80 per night hotel is quite nice, right? Well, at Bamboozi you get a straw hut, prison beds with mouse droppings, mosquito nets with giant holes, occasional electricity and running water, and a toilet with no seat where the shit hits the fan when you flush ... literally. Not fabulous!




After three nights sleeping fully clothed because of the mosquito net holes, we moved to Casa do Mar, which is run by a lovely South African couple and provides EVERYTHING, yes EEEEEEVERYTHING (I am quasi-quoting Dr. Andy Colombiano from the bar at the Tofo market) you could want on a beach vacation for only US$8 more per night ... including breakfast. Fabulous!


View from hotel room.


Martin and Gregor at "breakfast included".

There is not much going on in Tofo, so we spent the days playing games on the beach with local junior "brrrracelet" makers wagering pens for bracelets and letting them win on occasion.


A fabulous place, if you can take the 30 hours it basically takes to get there.


Other observations:
- A lot of foreign aid in Africa must go to toll collect stations and radar speed traps
- If needed, you can always get free condoms at border posts in South Africa, Swaziland, and Mozambique - for real
- Do not change money at the border, you might be had ... even if you come prepared
- Do not buy third world service at first world prices

Sixteenth Stop - Kruger Park, South Africa

It has been a while and, this time, I am traveling with my brother.

It is a ten hour flight from Munich to Johannesburg and then another four to drive to Kruger Park, one of Africa's most famous wild life reserves. For someone with limited access to wild life, the sight of zebras, elephants, and buffaloes crossing the road right in front of you is intriguing, but that is exactly what you will get.

Impalas are everywhere ...


Zebras also.


Elephants show up on occasion.


And sometimes ... they all appear at once.


And then, there was this guy, the "Tamboti trash bin scavenger".


The hotels were quite unique - and, yes, I accidentally shaved my beard off.


We stayed there for four days and did a one day excursion to Swaziland, which is run by King Mswati III, who has something like 20 wives and over 60 children. It is good to be king, I guess. The place itself is not so inspiring, but, for one day, we were the only whites we saw.


Other observations:
- Africans are in no rush until they get behind a steering wheel
- Trucks can be overloaded
- It is cold in Swaziland
- There is massive money to be made in process efficiency improvement consulting in Africa

Fifteenth Stop - Khao Lak, Thailand

An hour south by plane and then another hour by taxi, you will find the small town of Khao Lak.

However, before we write any more about Khao Lak, we need to spend a moment praising the experience of flying in Asia and we say this without the slightest hint of sarcasm. It is truly a pleasure spending five minutes checking your bag, not paying a cent for it, getting through security in another five minutes, and just boarding a plane that leaves on time. And we are talking Bangkok Airport here, a major hub in Southeast Asia. The planes are modern and have plenty of leg room, even in coach. You pick your food from a menu, there is no “chicken or pasta”. You will not get charged for alcoholic beverages, they even come through with a bottle of cognac after lunch, also at no charge. They will not charge you for pillows or blankets or head sets. It is all included. On top pf that, they are even very nice to you. Sorry, but screw the “Friendly Skies”.

Back to Khao Lak, a small town on the western coast of Thailand that was hit hard by the Tsunami in December of 2004. Five years later, they need the Allied Forces to arrive and stage another D-Day because the Germans have taken over. Of the 20 million retirees in Deutschland, about one third must be spending their … well … spring vacation in Thailand, mostly Khao Lak. There are German restaurants serving Schnitzel and Weihenstephaner and bars advertise when the next Bundesliga Spiel will be shown via satellite on an HD TV. Other than that, the vacationers are harmless, unless you run into one at dinner who is a little too excited about the “lady boys” at the Moo Moo Cabaret.

The food is fabulous, if you like Thai food. The prices are pretty negligible. If you rent a motor bike for 200 bath a day (about $6) and drive to a place that doesn’t serve “Euro food”or “Swedish pizza” and is actually frequented by locals, you can easily have fantastic dinner for two for less than $10 including a large bottle of Thai beer, Leo or Singha.

On a different note, Jenn wants a pet elephant. Her name is “Gay” (Thai for “pretty lady”).


Sundays are great days in Thailand. Most stores are closed, at least in the morning, the weather is cooler, and there is not much traffic. So, we took the motor bike and spent the day “on the road”.

First, we took a walk on a sand bank made of coral.

Then, we played fetch with our elephants.

After that, we said hello to the hair-biting, glasses-stealing, shoe-eating monkey.

For dinner, we had “who the hell knows what’s in it” soup.

Finally, we didn’t lose money betting on our favorite Muai Thai fighter.

We really like it here.

Fourteenth Stop - Bangkok, Thailand

Here we are again. It has been a while and we had some adventures in the meantime, but were to lazy to write about them. But, now, in Bangkok, we could not resist sharing.


Top Ten Lessons Learned in Bangkok

10) Haggle. With Everyone. About everything.
9) Stay at a nice, cold hotel, if you can.
8) Tuk tuk drivers are not personal shoppers.
7) A shirt apparently can be made in 1 hour.
6) No risk no fun - even when it comes to food.
5) A XL Thai man is a lot thinner than a XL non-Thai man.
4) You have to be really gay to like the 'hot male district' around Patpong road (not that there is anything wrong with it, of course).
3) When someone tells you that something is closed, it isn't.
2) Crickets are tastier than you think.
1) Do NOT go to the ping pong show!


Mahlzeit!

J/M

Thirteenth Stop - San Francisco, CA

San Francisco, CA - Home sweet home. At least for a few weeks. After driving 2,200 miles literally through ice and snow and beautiful landscape in Nebraska and Wyoming NOT, we made it back to San Francisco.

Some important trip statistics:
Miles driven: 8,473
Average gas mileage: 22
Car breakdowns: 0
Nights spent at hotels: 37
Favorite hotel: Tuscany Suites & Casino, Las Vegas, NV
Least favorite hotel: Budget Inn Motel, Childress, TX (we didn't actually stay there)
Money lost gambling: $54 (mostly Martin's fault)
Number of McDonald's coffees: 43
Best restaurant meal: La Boca, Santa Fe, NM
Worst restaurant meal: Renegate Cafe, Rock Springs, WY
Favorite stay: Moab, UT
Least favorite stay: Childress, TX
Best national park: Arches National Park, UT
Biggest surprise of trip: Dallas/Fort Worth is actually a nice place (Jennifer), driving through beautiful Capitol Reef National Park (Martin)
Items packed, but never used: tent, roll of toilet paper, yoga mat, 70-300mm Canon lense, large black backpack, soap, car repair tools, can of Spam
Longest non-stop drive: 1,089 miles - Fort Worth, TX to Chippewa Falls, WI
Scariest drive: Pucker Pass near Dead Horse Point, UT

... more to come ...

Twelfth Stop - Chippewa Falls, WI

Chippewa Falls, WI - Only a little more than 1,100 miles north of the DFW metroplex lies Chippewa Falls, WI. You can make it in about 18 hours by car, if you don't make too many stops on the way.

Now, why would make drive back to San Francisco via Wisconsin? You have to get really creative to consider it to be "on the way". Well, we have three words for you: Kathleen, John, and ... wait for it ... wait for it ... yes, yes ... close, close ... here we go: CHESTER!


We stayed a few days at Jennifer's house camping in the basement to avoid cat allergies. What we thought might be a tough few days due to the winter weather turned out to be a very pleasant, action packed stay with visits to UWEC, a double shot of the Leinenkugel Brewery, ATVing (oh yes, more goosebumps), a virtual plane ride from Minneapolis to Chippewa Falls, home made Spagetti (finally, finally, we were able to cook again), and lots of love and home cooked meals from Kathleen and John.


Now, it is time for Frizi and Chester to go on a diet again. The "Meow Mix Days" are over.

Eleventh Stop - Dallas/Fort Worth, TX

Dallas/Fort Worth, TX – The drive from Santa Fe is about 700 miles and takes you through the somewhat monotonous landscape of the Texas panhandle where you can see for miles, yet see nothing but big skies, bushes, grass, and a few cows. We spent the night in Childress about half way for, what turned out to be, a “special event night” (at least according to the lady at the Budget Inn reception, who would not accept out discount coupon for that reason). Unfortunately, we didn’t get to see the “special event” because nobody we asked had the vaguest idea what she was talking about. Biggest sight on the way: "Cars In Field".


Anyways, driven by nostalgia (at least on my side), we made it to the DFW metroplex. Our itinerary included: a mix-master mix-up so bad that the GPS had a hard time figuring out where to go, a children’s birthday party involving a pinada, BBQ right next to the Dallas Federal Reserve Bank, the Sixth Floor Museum, a trip down the Fort Worth memory lane (which included a visit to the Stockyards, a stop at TCU for various paraphernalia, a pseudo inquiry about a 3 bedroom/2 bath at the Berkeley Luxury Apartments – formerly known as Park Ridge Apartments, where I spent $465 on a 2 bedroom 14 years ago -, St. Patrick’s Day at 8.0, and BBQ at the Railhead Smokehouse.


Highlight of the DFW visit: dinner at what we think is the perfect family!


Karla, Brandon, Isabella, and Benjamin, we love you guys…

Tenth Stop - Santa Fe, NM

Santa Fe, NM – Ah, Santa Fe, this little town in northern New Mexico is always a popular destination. Adobe houses all over downtown, it gives you the feel that you have entered a different century and time just seems to pass a little slower than everywhere else.


We wandered around town exploring the many galleries on Canyon Road, had lunch and dinner at one of the many restaurants on the Plaza, and visited Americas oldest house and oldest church near the Old Santa Fe Trail.


A great place to relax and that’s what we did. Even if you try, you will not find a vibrant night life here. Most of the city closes down around 9:00 pm and you have to go buy Spagettios at Smith’s, if you want to have a midnight snack.

For those who are wondering, if we did the “must do” and went to Taos, the answer is no. We were (a) just too relaxed and comfortable in our little Inn on the Paseo and (b) were to by fellow travelers that it is just to worth the long drive at this time of the year. We heard about people complaining that Taos was too sleepy and that they needed to get back to Santa Fe for some “action”.

Ninth Stop - Alamogordo, NM

Alamogordo, NM – After El Paso, we were prepared for pretty much anything, but Alamogordo was a pleasant surprise. The hotel was reasonable, we made it to Happy Hour at Chili’s, there was a Wal-Mart next door, and the sheriff let us off the hook when we made an illegal left turn. What else could you ask for?

We visited White Sands National Park, took a 4.7 mile hike through the desert (or, as Jennifer put it, walked around a sugar bowl for three hours – see picture), and had a picnic on a sand dune to watch the sunset.


Finally, we drove to Roswell, site of the alleged 1947 government cover-up of a UFO crash. Visited the UFO museum to get some detailed insight into flying saucers, space aliens, and the truth of what really happened here. It was great, but we had expected a little more … As the guy from the visitors center put it: “This town is about the aliens. Otherwise, people are just trying to get out of Roswell”.

Eighth Stop - El Paso, TX

El Paso, TX – They say, in El Paso, the sun shines 300 days out of the year. I guess that leaves 65 days where it doesn’t and even fewer where it rains. Well, we got lucky. It rained in El Paso when we were there. But, to be honest, it didn’t really matter much. It is probably one of those towns where the recession truly shows its ugly face with vacant houses, empty store fronts, and “For Sale” signs everywhere.

We had thought about walking across the border to Ciudad Juarez in Mexico to - as they say in the city guide – turn up the volume on our senses, but pretty much everyone, including the guy at the coffee shop and the border agent, told us that the place is “pretty dangerous” because the Mexican government and the drug cartels are in a turf war over there. I guess it might help that, a few days earlier, the Mexican military sent 5,000 soldiers to patrol the streets, but, in the end, we stayed on the safe side.

So, we walked around downtown, headed towards the Mexican border through the “Golden Horseshoe” district, lingered around the border with a bunch of Mexicans, bought three CDs, and went to the bathroom at the border Burger King.

On a positive note, El Paso is as close to Mexico as you will get in the States. We went to see the Mission trail, where Spanish missionaries built three small missions very close to one another.


Very nice. Then we got the hell out of there.

Seventh Stop - Tucson, AZ

Tucson, AZ - We left Sedona with a somewhat broken heart, but Tucson was calling and we couldn't wait to drive five hours through the desert. On the way, we stopped at Montezuma's Castle - without revenge.

In Tucson, we highly recommend the "Mary & Jim Englund Inn". Not only are they the nicest people, they are gracious hosts and fantastic tour guides (here seen at the Desert Museum).

In our opinion, Jim must be one of the best cooks north of the Rio Grande.

Last, but by no means least, it was great to see you, Jon and Brian. You know you always have a special place in our hearts and will be in our thoughts.

And Jon, you look fabulous!

Sixth Stop - Flagstaff/Sedona, AZ

Flagstaff/Sedona, AZ - We didn't really think we were going to stay here for more than a day or two, but then were captured by the beauty of the landscape, the sunshine, and the Vortex energy (look it up). We stayed for almost a week.

Flagstaff basically is a mid-sized college town housing the University of Northern Arizona. It boasts a small historic downtown, a ski resort, and a highway to one of America's most famous landmarks - the Grand Canyon.

We were going to be cheap at first and skip the Grand Canyon, especially since several people said it wasn't really worth it. But then we gave in and drove up there and, let me tell you, it was really worth it. You will NEVER see anything like this. I will try, but the whole thing is so unreal that it cannot be captured in a picture.

You will have to go and see for yourself.

Sedona is a small, artsy town in the Red Canyon only 25 miles south of, but 25 degrees warmer than Flagstaff.

Everything here is red, the rocks, the houses, the street, even the dirt they dig up in construction sites is red.

We fell in love with this little town and even went to a few open houses. The real estate market here has been hit pretty hard and house prices have come down 30 to 40% off their highs. As a result, the agents seemed genuinely happy to see us and told us ("off the record, of course") that the asking price was ("in their opinion") a little high and we could get the place ("which is a short sale, by the way") for probably 25% less. The view was something like this:

We told them that we'd think about it.

How could we not...?

Fifth Stop - Las Vegas, NV

Las Vegas, NV - Vegas, baby!


And what happens here stays here. So, in Vegas stays:
- two Margaritas at $25 each at some "party bar" "on" Treasure Island,
- Mr. Popovich and his pet comedy at the V theatre,
- the one mile walk from our room at the Stratosphere to the strip,
- the many slot machines that steal your money,
- the midnight dinner at IHOP,
- the shrimp cocktails and prime rib special at the Golden Gate Hotel during the "Freemont Experience" (Note from the Editor: Stay downtown when you travel to Las Vegas),
- the resort we ended up in for $20 per night called Tuscany Casino and Suites (Note from the Editor: Stay here if you don't like downtown),
- the fact that a tripod is considered a weapon by the stupid people who run the stupid tower at the stupid Stratosphere,
- the pirate show at TI that has a very modern touch, and
- pretty much everything other than the strip, East of the strip, and Freemont street, in other words "the ghetto".

We are all vegas'ed out!

Bye Vegas!

Fourth Stop - Zion, UT

Zion, UT - The recession is taking its toll on the US National Parks Department and they have raised the entrance fee for some parks to $25. As a result, we decided to be cheap and forego Bryce Canyon, especially since the snow made hiking impossible. However, Zion was great. Greener than most of the other canyons, it allowed us to hike 17 miles in two days in a spectacular scenery.


Highly recommended for outdoor enthousiasts and fanatical deer lovers.



Make sure to stay on the West side of the park, e.g. in Hurricane, unless you want to have dinner at an Arby's at a gas station in Panguitch, pop. 1,473.